Thursday, August 5, 2010

AwAkEnEd


It's hard to believe that our summer is winding down and it's time to think about the year ahead. I'm happy to say that Caleb passed his evaluation with flying colors! He has officially entered the 4Th grade! Though we ended his homeschool program in May it was just last week that we handed his portfolio to Gina to be evaluated. I couldn't be more proud of Caleb's work this year and I couldn't be more proud with his perseverance through Arithmetic.

I've realized that this year I will not be sending one notification of home education, but I'll send two notifications this year. I'm in disbelief that Hannah has graduated to the 1ST grade... This is another mile stone for her and I am eager to teach her. It has been fulfilling to watch her learn, it has been fulfilling to hear her read. It's rewarding as a her mother, because it was I who taught her!

This summer has been spectacular! Honestly, I can't remember a better summer. So much as happened and so much was gained. We've spent long days at the beach. Afternoons with our friends. Nights with family. We've done a lot of traveling. We've added to our household and cleared out a some of the clutter. This summer I have felt many emotions. Not only has it been wonderful it has also been a wonderful disaster at times. I've been scared, I've been angry, I've shown compassion and been uncompassionate. I've poured my heart out and I've denied my heart. I've cried out loud and I've laughed out loud. It would be fair to ask. "Has God touched you this summer?" My answer would be, YES!

To often I've started my day with out Him this summer, to often I've out right ignored Him during the day. Still, He was there and forced me to see where I was going wrong. He gentle held me when I fell over and over again. He forgave me before I asked Him to. Jesus wrapped his strong loving arms around me and promised me that everything would be OK. Even as I sit here writing this entry He is reveiling my mistakes. I am very grateful, I'm overwhelmed, I'm humbled but lifted. When I allow Him to draw near to me I can hear Him and I feel rested, I feel the weight lifted from my shoulders. When I open His word I'm consumed and convicted. When I hand Him my heart (for real) I'm no longer asking for more, I'm no longer unsatisfied. He has paid it all and all to Him I owe.

Today marks a new day, today will be my attempt to surrender all. I took my troubles to the Lord; I cried out to him, and he answered my prayer.
Psalm 120:1 NLT God help me!

What a year this will be, what a mess it will be also. But, I know, with God all things are possible and He will always be my shield. My heart is full, my hands are empty and I'm ready to serve my Father.

Dear God, thank you for these lessons, thank you for having patience with me. Help me to become the wife you designed me to be. God, don't let me get in my own way. Help me to achieve what it is to be a mother consumed by you. Help me to learn, lead, and follow only You. This year will bring new adventure, new mistakes, and new discovery... And it will all be by Your grace and love for me. Awaken me!

I pray all these things in Jesus' name, Amen.